darkling-grrl

- client: the website looks great, but can we have an "exit" button on there.me: er.. I suppose so, where do you want the user to go when they click it?client: nowhere - I just want it to shut down the screen.- Job posting: Seeking web developer for high-profile university alumni website. Must have knowledge in graphic design, SQL, secure transactions, and 10+ years doing webpages.(This was in 1999.)- Our techs routinely help first time clients set up their email accounts at their homes when they deliver the modems. I got a call one afternoon from an irate client saying repeated efforts to contact us by email were unsuccessful. While attempting to confirm they had the correct address the client angrily interrupted me and stated "I am NOT stupid, I have tried that address five times and the message is always the same.... THIS PAGE CANNOT BE DISPLAYED" I had to put them on hold until I composed myself.- Client: "Hey - in the screenshot of the HTML layout you've sent me none of the links is working. Can you fix this?"*sigh*- not so much as a quote but once I asked a client to send me their logo on a disk. Sure enough, the next day a parcel arrived - I pulled out the floppy, only to find it blank but with a black and white photocopy of their logo cellotaped to it.It was a hard phonecall to explain the problem.- "I need you to move that picture ONE PIXEL to the left. There.... that's better."- I got a call from a US tele-research company last night. She asked me:"In describing your ideal sat-nav system, how useful would you like it to be, from 1-5, where 5 is very useful and 1 is not useful at all."(Source: www.clientcopia.com)

I have to say, avagabond's Harry Potter icon cracked me up!